


Twice Over

by SereKabii



Category: HoloEN, Hololive, Virtual Streamer Animated Characters, holoMyth
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Dreams, Dystopia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eyes, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Inheritance, Insomnia, Kissing, Letters, Meeting the Parents, Memories, Mystery, Original Character(s), Past, Puzzles, Regret, Reminiscing, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29201793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereKabii/pseuds/SereKabii
Summary: A tale of unexpected meetings between two people across time, and how it changed both their lives forever.
Relationships: Gawr Gura/Watson Amelia (hololive), Watson Amelia (Hololive) & Gawr Gura
Comments: 23
Kudos: 112





	1. First Contact

**Author's Note:**

> Both highly inspired by the incomplete picture of Child Ame that was quickly dropped in an Apex stream and in other lore dumps she has made in Super Sundays and general streams, plus some twitter conversations i've read or participated in.  
> This is my first actual fanfic, so helpful criticism is very much welcome!  
> Also, while all chapters aren't finished, tags are prone to significant changing as i do want to minimize spoilers of potential story developments yet to be published.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Super Sunday. In a response to an inquisitive superchat, Amelia Watson goes down through memory lane and tells her audience the craziest and most life-changing childhood story she can remember: her very first time travel.

Thank you for your superchat!

..."Ame, come out and tell me the craziest childhood story you have"? Wait, do you really want that? Hehehe, I feel I've been spoiling you guys with all of these stories... Fine, you get one last childhood story from me and that's final. I've actually got this one written down for a special occasion, but at this point I've been holding onto it for so long I think I should just go with it...

But it'll indeed be the craziest one you've ever heard. Are you guys up to it? Hm? Yes? Everyone's saying yes... then alright, here I go, a long one, just for you guys.

You may not be aware of this, but the Watson family has always been involved with time travel. So, that means I've been learning about how it works and its effects  
ever since i was very young. Mhm. Yeah.

When I was around 9 or so years old, Uncle Watson was dragging me around his office, where his time-travel watch was, teaching me some stuff about self-preserving timelines. I now think it's some interesting stuff, but as a child... pffft, I honestly just thought it was a load of shit! Hahahaha

I could barely understand what he was teaching me, and whenever I asked him to show me how it actually worked even from a distance, he'd immediately refuse and tell me it's "too dangerous" and I could accidentally be taken with him, so I just... couldn't get myself interested in it, y'know?

But that day, I finally decided to change that by myself. I snuck into the Watson office at night, and slowly walked through the office. When I entered the room with the time-travel watch, I immediately started feeling nervous. I had never actually seen Uncle with it, he never carries one around like I do! So that nervousness was kinda taken over by me just being in awe of how pretty it looked, it looked so cool to me back then!

When I finally did pick it up, I noticed the entire thing really was just an analogue clock! I immediately went "now how can this thing travel me through time?" and scoured it for buttons and knobs, it only had one though, a knob that changed the time on the clock. I then looked at the hands of the clock, and quickly went "wait, that's wrong!" for some reason, it was 10 hours ahead!

I tried to fix it, but when I was done, that's when I had done it! Space and time itself started to warp around me, I could not believe what I was seeing! But after a while, I started getting kinda dizzy... mhm, yeah. I just didn't stop warping, I had no idea where that would even end up! Yeah, chat, I know I shouldn't have done that now, but I was young, ok? Would you not have done that at my age? Huuuh?

I ended up losing consciousness for a while, actually. When I finally slipped back for just a bit, I saw myself laying down at a desolate beach, and saw a silhouette, smaller than me, slowly approach me as I blacked out again. I was sure I would be dead at that point!

Instead, though, I woke up in a bed. I still felt quite weird, and for a second I didn't even remember what had just happened. But when I looked to a nearby window, there I saw the second most beautiful thing I've seen in my entire life.  
...

"hyeh, the shecond? hyeh hyeh hyeh what'sh the firsht?" SHUT UP CHAT, I'M TRYING TO TELL A STORY HERE!

Anyways, it was a world that was both under and above the water at the same time. It was breathtaking, the architecture was so orderly, it stood out to me even back then and the simple beauty of the ancient city clashed with the almost sci-fi see-through dome that surrounded it, letting me see the ocean's most ferocious creatures just lurking behind it. In my eyes, it was as beautiful and mysterious a place could be, but... for some reason it still had an aura of... boredom that i just couldn't put my finger on yet.

Once i finally stopped being distracted by all the sights, in front of me was a young girl, who looked about as young as me, staring at me with a confused look. What I immediately noticed was that had the body of a human child, but the tail of a shark. Her body was completely soaked, unlike the adults in the city, so I knew she was the one that saved me from the surface.

As you very well know, I'm not one to usually talk, but she was just standing there, in awkward silence as she just watched me get up. But the instant I asked her who she was, my ears were flooded with words I couldn't understand. While this ended up feeling a bit disheartening, we found a way to talk... kinda. Through drawings!

Despite being in a place that I had absolutely no idea of, in a time I knew absolutely nothing about, I felt a warmth in her that I didn't really feel very often, and it... it felt kinda wrong, actually? It kinda clashed with the coldness I could feel outside. But I was too young to really *get* if there was anything wrong with it or not, I could just feel it.

Right, so, as for what we drew about, it was the basics, the basics... We talked about family, food, and with some difficulty, we introduced our names to eachother and she introduced me to Atlantis, where I was. I never even knew this was real besides a book or two that i read by then! Anyways, you might have already guessed it, but this indeed turned out to be a certain... shark we all know! She looked way younger, since this was a long time ago, yeah. But it was her!

Heheheheheh, chat's going crazy right now. Didn't know you guys loved those kinds of stories that much, I should just do these instead of streaming! Gheheheh... I'm kidding, you guys.

By the end, I tried to teach Gura... y'know, some words in English? It turns out there's a massive library around there, which is where most Atlanteans who are curious about human culture go and learn about it, and giving her a minimal understanding might get her to start learning on her own, but it didn't help much, because it turns out English didn't even exist yet! haha, so it turns out we really had to keep communicating through drawings...

Finally, after a while, I started feeling homesick and tried to comfort her with a warm goodbye before leaving. With my absolute cosmic brain, I decided that just bringing the time of my watch forward 10 hours would undo the time travel, so I tried it out, and... i passed out again!

But thankfully, this time I woke up in the bed I usually sleep on, and while a bit sad I couldn't see the new friend I made anymore, and really couldn't shake the... odd feelings i had visiting that place, I mostly went on like nothing happened. Mhm. Obviously got grilled hard by Uncle Watson but he was more glad I was back safely than anything else. I was really lucky, apparently.

So that's the story of the first time i've time traveled! More than you bargained for, right?

...TAME??? What do you mean, "where's the near-fatal injury"? What do you mean, "where's the scar"? Do you guys really think that an experience like time-traveling thousands of years in the past at age 9 is less interesting than falling on my head in a Disneyland trip? Y'all stupid.

Incomplete? Hmmm... I guess I did leave a few loose ends. I'll have to think about whether or not I wanna bring this back up later, we did spend a lot of time here. I do like telling stories, but I don't want to drag out our superchat readings that much for it either...

Yeah, I'll think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was somewhat difficult of a format to write on! I hope this was a decent read, and I'll attempt to make the other chapters at a decent pace because this concept really interests me.


	2. A Fateful Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the superchat readings come to a close, Amelia can't seem to let go of her past, as telling the story of her first time travel sends her in a spiral of reminiscing.  
> This time, we return to a year after her first time travel, where young Ame strongly wishes to meet up with Gura again.

\- Thank you guysssssss for watchiiing, byeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

\- So it's finally over, huh. Man, after that story the stream got super scuffed, I could barely think straight the entire time... I'm probably just tired, I think that's it. Let's try and get in some sleep for tomorrow's streams, or whatever...

\- ...I should look through my drawer. I should have something from back then somewhere in there. Where is it...

\- Oh. This. Ugh, I wanted some small closure to give me the chance to sleep and yet the only thing I find is this depressing piece of junk that has haunted me the entire time? Just fantastic. Now I definitely won't be able to stop thinking about it.

...

Sometimes, even when good things happen, regrets are still hard to move past. It's a normal aspect of life that the negative usually stands out above the positive. Or at the very least, despite the fact that you generally think about positive things most of the time, the moments of sad introspection only stand out more because of how rare they are. It too, is a natural aspect. I definitely feel regret over some things I did even if I'm mostly happy to see Amelia in a positive future, surrounded by fans and friends.

But yet, watching her as she talked about her first time travel, and thinking about all that she omitted from it... all events that mentioning her first time travel brought to mind started circling around, as it fed a strengthening insomnia.

\- UGH. I give up. I should just... try to reorganize the events in my head... So I stop this... feeling from taking over my mind.

I guess I probably am not going to get any sleep today, so there's no better time to start. Let's take a dive into what happened after the first meeting between my young successor and the Atlantean known as Gawr Gura.

As she said before, for about a year, everything stayed the same. A pretty heavy scolding and a reinforcement of the security around the Watson Office was needed, but the young Ame stayed mostly the same. She still lived her normal life, went to school and got in trouble with her brother, as usual.

But one thing did change - She was now very interested in time travel lessons. She wanted to go back, this time, actually knowing what she's doing so she can stay around for longer. She was even planning on what to bring, like English textbooks and toys and souvenirs from the present. It's truly a fascinating prospect to see just how much you can plan for something that you don't even believe will actually happen, considering how difficult sneaking into the facility again would be.

\- There are two ways that you can create a paradox through traveling back in time. The first and most famous one is by altering the events of the past in such a way you cannot exist, that being the Grandfather's Paradox. The other, more subtle one is caused if you erase the reason you time-traveled in the first place, say, by fixing a past mistake by preventing it from happening. That means you no longer have a reason to time-travel in the present, causing a Consistency Paradox. You have to avoid both of these however you can, ok? We still don't know what the effects of creating one might be to this day.

\- Wait, but aren't you guys a long line of time-travelers? Someone should have gotten this wrong at least once...

\- Ah, sharp as always. It's not necessarily true that none of the Watsons have caused a paradox, it's just that we might never be aware of the creation of one. Maybe time-travel paradoxes are instantly reversed, erasing the perpetrator's memory of causing it, or maybe you're detected as an anomaly in the universe, causing your existence to... well, actually, maybe we should talk about that later.

She's actually been picking up on things quite fast for her age, which is a total shift from before. But right as the time traveling lesson ended and she was about to return home, as usual...

\- Uncleeeeee... I want to get back to Atlantis... Can you take me there once your lessons are done?

\- Amelia, dear, you know I can't do that. It's too risky to go back in time that far back, at least for someone with little experience. Even if you've learned a lot about time-travel and I'm more confident in taking you in my travels, that is far too much. I also get slightly disoriented whenever I travel that far, and I've been doing this for years.

\- Pleeease? - Amelia makes the most adorable begging face she can possibly pull off.

\- *Sigh*. Alright, we'll go tomorrow. But I'll take you there myself so I can be sure you'll be fine, ok?

That reaction really was something else. She quickly jumped at me, hugged me with her feet off the ground and went "thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou" without stopping. Tomorrow it would be exactly one year since the accident, but for some reason while I'd probably be horrified to go again, she only has fond memories of her travel. Like a beautiful dream. I could easily see that young Amelia becoming the best time-traveler history has ever seen if she had as much drive towards it going forwards.

The day passed as quickly as it always does, and as such it was already time for her second travel through time. She witnessed as the clock was adjusted back 10 hours, and the universe itself started to warp for both of us. Experience taught me ways that could lower the nauseation and energy usage during a prolonged time travel, and I saw her try to execute all of those rituals to the best of her ability.

Finally, we had arrived safely in the past. More precisely, around 8330 years into the past. A quick surge of confusion passed by my head, but it faded off as I saw Amelia struggling to stand up.

\- You actually made it awake this time...

\- Yeah! It was all thanks to what you taught me! - Amelia gives a wide grin, despite still feeling a bit sick. I try to give back a genuine smile but it comes out pained and regretful, seeing her clearly struggling a bit to stand up.

\- So, you wanted to come here to see a friend you made again, right? You saw her silhouette on this exact shore and then you woke up in Atlantis? Do you think she's going to come back?

The response was a bit mixed. It was quite obvious that Amelia didn't actually think this through completely, as her friend actually leaving Atlantis was clearly coincidence, and it wouldn't necessarily happen again, especially exactly a year later. Or so we thought, anyways. Yet, like as if the clockwork of fate itelf had plans, the shark tailed girl was at the exact same place again, standing up at shore's end. 

\- ...a?

Amelia quickly ran towards her, and the girl jumped into the water in response. Initially she seemed a bit flustered but as she came out of the water again she gave a smile and a laugh, showing large and pointed teeth. She seemed quite friendly, and I could quickly see why the two grew fond of eachother despite only knowing eachother for a single day and not even being able to properly communicate. I was then shocked as Amelia tried to kick sand into her, which she responded to in surprising speed by quickly closing her eyes and burying her face in the water. The two proceeded to laugh together. Yes, it was very easy to see why this was important to her. She doesn't have this kind of chemistry with many people in the present.

I was a bit surprised the girl took this long to notice the fact that I had arrived together with her. Once she looked in my general direction, the situation turned a bit awkward. However, Amelia quickly picked up a wooden stick from the ground and drew what could be described as an attempt at drawing humans holding hands together at the sand, and they both looked at me again, and both smiled happily. It seems she figured out I was part of her family. But I had one thing left to ask.

\- What's her name?

\- Uh... G... Gu-

\- Gawr Gura! - The girl herself followed after hearing Amelia struggle to say her name, sheepishly tilting her head to the left while smiling. 

While she was floating above the water, I started to wonder how the girls actually got to Atlantis from here. Not only should it be quite far away, but we could see that she actually had devices on both of her arms keeping her afloat. I had expected her to be able to swim properly if she was able to make it all the way to the shore, but I guess not, now how will she... But my thought process was quickly interrupted by a light blue glow that started to surround us. Before we could even realize what was happening, we were already inside of the underwater city of legend.

Amelia was obviously enthralled by what just happened. Even I had a hard time believing it. But what caught my attention even moreso once we arrived was how... drab and boring the cityscape was. It was standard to a way that's barely imaginable, there was only one building that didn't look exactly the same as all the others. But besides that, all adults carried the same exact neutral expression as they meandered, silently, to the bigger building and back to their homes, as if going there was the only thing they could spend their time with.

As I looked back, I saw Amelia and Gura running towards one of the houses, already almost out of my sight. I decided to simply let it happen, and took out a pencil and paper I brought, to map out the location the two were in, to be sure I wouldn't forget which one of the identical houses they got inside as I decided to take a walk across the city. This walk, giving me a better look at the expressionless faces of the chimeras that walked on the city's floor only solidified my horror towards this place - And I didn't want to tell Amelia any of it. At least not yet. But one day, if she ever got curious, she'd find out everything. And I hoped that would happen when she'd be mentally ready to take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the reasons why I decided to make this story multi-chapter was because I knew I wouldn't stick to a single narrator and/or narrative style throughout it, and changing between them could be a bit less jarring if they switched on chapter breaks.  
> This chapter served more of a scene-setting purpose than anything, although I did try to sneak some playful interactions between the girls in there to make it a bit more bearable if that's what you wanted. Sorry about that. X)  
> 


	3. Gray Fog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the present, sleep still refuses to arrive, and Amelia keeps trying to reconnect the loose dots in her head. In this chapter, we follow Amelia as she tries to do just that.  
> Young Ame meets Gura's parents, and is given an unsettling drawing. The mystery of Atlantis unfolds, but is that actually a good thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Significantly longer one this time! I'll just call this a gift and not at all bad planning by my part.

I still remember that day, and it kinda pisses me off that it sticks in my mind so much. Why do I keep asking myself questions that I can't find answers to? I'll just keep this up until it's time to stream tomorrow and I'll be feeling like shit... I'll just keep fitting the pieces back together then figure out what I'll have to do, at this point it's the only thing that'll keep me sane at this point.

It was the second time I went to meet up with her. Right as we arrived, we immediately ran towards her home, already with ideas in mind for how to spend our time. And time went by quickly, as always. We shared drawings, our only true means of communication at that point, and laughed at eachother while making funny faces and pushing eachother. We'd show eachother things from our own times, and we'd both react with either surprise or utter confusion at how they worked or why they looked like that. We really couldn't be further apart if we tried, and yet, here we were, having some of the most fun either of us had in so long.

Then, afterwards, I picked up a children's English textbook, the most image-filled one i could find, and tried to teach her some basic words. It was funny but really cute to see her trying to say the simplest of english in her own broken way, as I proceeded to only laugh more.

\- H... ho-use?  
\- Pfft... No, no! House! - I really couldn't contain my laughter at all during this, it almost makes me feel a bit bad.  
\- ...pfft - Then I remember she would usually end up laughing with me too, with her quiet but still expressive laugh that warmed my heart.

I planned on leaving those behind, so she'd slowly try to learn in her own way, somehow. But I was told that I should tell her to keep the books a secret. If more people attempted to learn the language before it was even made, it could cause some problems in the future. I never stopped to question why it didn't matter that Gura learned it, though.

As I finally started to feel like I really wanted to go back home, mostly because I was hungry, the door opened. Gura's laughter immediately froze as two figures entered, without a single bit of banter or noise besides the opening of the door and the banging of footsteps, into the scene. They weren't particularly tall, but looked adult. They both moved, in an almost eerie harmony, with expressionless faces, and went straight towards another room, as Gura only stared, distantly.

The most striking feature of them, that I never noticed in the other adult Atlanteans, was their eyes. Their irises had gone completely gray, unlike her strikingly blue eyes that shone brighter than mine. Their hair was also entirely gray, unlike hers, which had a bit of gray on it, but was still mostly a dark blue color. Their movements creeped me out a lot, and it made me look towards Gura again, who quickly pointed her hand at an image of a ghost in her textbook.

I might not have been able to understand the gravity of the situation, as I was only 10, but I could still feel myself be increasingly unsettled out by the situation surrounding me. Gura started to draw, alone, in a blank sheet of paper, while I looked out of the window, noticing that every other person walking outside was just like that. Mindless, walking in an eerily harmonious way, as if they were saving up their own energy by living their lives in the most boring way possible. All their eyes were gray, almost as if they were dead people walking. Clearly I wasn't the only one who was scared. I wasn't, I swear.

This time I didn't want to leave because I was hungry, I wanted to leave because I... was just creeped the hell out, no other way to say it. Who wouldn't be? But I saw Gura gesture towards me, and I came over to see what she was drawing. And that was the moment that my fears solidified completely. The drawing had two blue eyed girls in the middle, presumably me and her, and lots of other people around, quite a bit taller, and all with dead-looking, grayed out eyes. They were then scribbled over, as if she didn't want to look at what she drew either. It didn't hide much, but it gave the full message. It's just that... I didn't understand it. I wouldn't understand it for a while. And yet, that drawing was what I found in my drawer today, instead of the peace of mind I wanted. It's not fair!

After she handed me over the drawing, I left. She didn't seem to want me to go, but her frown was quickly taken over by a smile, as she just looked at me, never once breaking that bittersweet grin.

I tried my best to forget everything that happened. I still had a normal life to live, and that would never cease to be the case. Uncle also told me he obviously had his own job to do, and he'd only set up the clock to gather the power to go back in time as far as we did once a year. But now, moreso than ever, Gura had taken hold of some of my mind. Because now I didn't just want to see her again, I wanted to figure out what was happening. I kept looking at the picture, longingly, trying to understand what she wanted out of it. Was she just scared of the people around her? Or was she happy because I was there, as if I were the highlight of her life? None of those were what I now feel the drawing originally tried to convey, but that didn't make my attempts at finding answers any less valid. It meant that I had to prepare myself to spend more and more time with her. More of a good thing is never bad, right?

The year went by quickly, as always. But it didn't feel like it. Every day it felt like I was digging deeper into questions i had no answer towards, whenever I tried to go to sleep without feeling tired, whenever I had nothing to do. I was told the Watsons are attracted to mystery, but the more I attempted to solve this first mystery I've been given, the worse it made me feel. But finally, the day was coming. We had scheduled it to the day we always traveled back, June 20th. And this time, I wanted to stay for way longer. Me and Uncle set up a bunch of snacks so I'd last as long as possible, and said he'd bring in a portable stove in a bag in case I still didn't want to leave. We truly prepared ourselves as much as possible.

Like clockwork once again, we met at the same shore. It was no longer as much of a surprise, as even if it was a coincidence before, Gura probably picked up on the timing by now. Her eyes lit up, and I was glad to see she was still the same energetic shark as she always has been. In fact, I did not see even the slightest trace of the helplessness I tracked from her in the last few moments before I left last time, and I wouldn't see it for the entirety of the visit. All that remained were warm, fuzzy smiles, and the worries I had, slowly fading away.

I saw her grip firm, as a familiar blue light surrounded me, and I was taken back into that familiar, yet cursed city. We didn't wait even for a second before rushing into that one place, place like all others, that she called home. The moment we were inside her room, she suddenly started to attempt to speak... a broken excuse at English. But it was actual sentences, it still completely shocked me when she was barely getting out single words before.

\- h-h-haw... ar... yo?  
\- Uh... what?  
\- haw ar yo? betar?

I could feel the intent in her voice. I could barely distinguish what she meant with her words, but it carried with it an aura of worry. Not for herself, but for me. I smiled, and nodded strongly, with a faint "yes yes yes yes yes". 

\- But your English is baaaaaaaaaaad. - I said, before breaking into laughter. She did so too, although I wasn't sure if she actually understood what I said or just laughed because I was.

But at that point, it was enough for me to forget about everything and take this as exactly what I truly wanted, to have fun. Those thoughts were too much for me, and it was the time I had to unwind and be myself, in a way. I was at peace, and her smile told me she was too. Even if that might not have been the case, she was at the very least good at pretending she was...

This time, I had brought a small MP3 player together with headphones, which alternated between music I enjoyed, and files of just me slowly reciting full sentences in English, trying to get her to learn a bit along the way. I had to work a bit to get her to learn how to use it, but eventually it worked itself out. Besides that, I also brought some less useful stuff from outside, to bring to our own little show and tell, where we'd once again proceed to be absolutely confused to what the point of certain things are.

I couldn't help but notice that there was a massive trident sitting in her room this time. It was beautiful but also quite scary to look at, and I wonder why I never saw it before. When I pointed towards it, the answer I got was something along the lines of "I hunt my own food, because I need to eat." Wait, why is her needing to eat something she had to point out? Do the gray ones not need to eat at all? Is this why I've never seen an Atlantean leave to hunt while looking outside? After that she immediately caught my attention and started doing messy stabbing motions in the air with the trident, while shouting. I immediately forgot what I was thinking about and started chuckling at her, she looked like a total idiot.

When I finally started feeling hungry, I took Gura by her hands, and went to Uncle, who... tried his best. He wasn't the best at cooking, and wasn't expecting to make food for two either, but it was certainly better than not eating at all. For me. But her, who I was genuinely afraid would hate human food, absolutely loved it. There truly was almost nothing distancing us other than her nonstandard body features, she was every bit as human as I was. She loved human things, made human expressions and, with some effort, was learning human language. It was confusing, and I immediately started focusing on my food to not think about it much.

After that, it kinda begins to blur. It was all great, and I loved every second of it, but not much really happened. That would be true for the next few years as well, we'd have fun, we'd laugh, we'd show eachother things from the outside, and I would try and teach her English. Despite me clearly growing up faster than her, she never gave it a second thought. We were still enjoying each second of eachother's presence, and we didn't really think about what was happening around us. Because the fact we were having our best times was what mattered.

However, on the seventh trip, curiosity finally took hold of me. I asked Uncle a question that I never knew just how horrid the answer to was, but that just felt like a simple question when it left my mouth.

\- You've mentioned a lot of times that there are many things I can't do in the past because since this is over 8000 years into the past, even small actions could change the present in such sweeping ways that a paradox could easily be created through the Butterfly Effect, right? So... why do you let me talk with Gura every year? Why do you let me to expose her to things that won't exist until the present? That sounds like it'd have much more of an effect than some of the things you mentioned I can't do in here, it just doesn't make sense!

He looked up, averting his gaze. His answer was that if I truly felt ready to find out the truth, I should enter the big building, and look for a book in the children's section, with two gray eyes in a watery background. Since we didn't know the language, using a children's book with plentiful illustrations would likely make me at least understand some of what it's trying to say. So that building is a library, huh? I didn't know why he seemed so scared of me going there, though...

Entering it, I went through one of the most unsettling experiences of my entire life. There were dozens, hundreds of those... dead, silent beings that once were probably energetic, loving, active just like Gura, all of them methodically reading through books I couldn't even dream to understand. And they flipped through pages *quickly*, with a reading speed that felt haunting. Like as if they optimized their information retention through actual eons. But as I reached the children's section, the hall was almost empty. The only people that were there were passing by, towards another section. I found the book after some time, and quickly started flipping through its image filled pages, and I think I understood enough to start to see why I shouldn't have come here. But now I knew too much, I couldn't quit now.

The images that stood out in my mind are a sideways silhouette of the body of an Atlantean with a sort of dark blue liquid inside them, slowly draining, a few images of magic spells, one of them that I was quite familiar with, the number 1500, the photo of a ritual that takes the color out of the eyes, and finally, an image of a gray eyed Atlantean pointing towards the reader, as if saying that "You're next". While I found it extremely haunting, the idea behind it seemed to be teaching kids that the grey eyes were actually good. I wasn't told to, but I followed that up with another book, of what looked like a swimming Atlantean kid swimming towards a shadow that seemed to be hundreds of hands, trying to call to them. It seemed to tell a story that gave the lesson that you should never, ever leave the city, as who leaves never comes back. If that truly was the case, then maybe it's not because they were killed, but actually because they never wanted to come back to this hellhole... It's not like we'd know anyways, since the surface hadn't really developed writing yet. That previous feeling of immense dread was slowly being replaced with a feeling of anger, and I wanted to know the things I didn't understand. I picked up the gray eyes book and brought it to Uncle, asking what it really meant.

The story seemed to go like that... Atlanteans are technically immortal. Their body is sustained by an innate magic pool, which was represented by that liquid in the silhouette image, not unlike Mana. That Mana can be used to cast magic spells, mostly utility ones like healing wounds and warping people, but it's actually used for everything. Walking, talking, swimming, even emoting uses from that pool of energy. And there is absolutely no way to gain it back, whatever you use is gone for good. It's essentially how the Atlantean age, losing their internal storage of energy. First they lose their ability to use magic spells, which generally happens around early adulthood. Then they slowly start to lose their abilities to make strong movements as they enter old age, and finally, they start to stop moving entirely, essentially turning into statues as they die.

However, due to an unknown accident, this single society became all that remained of their species. Suddenly, they now had the burden of keeping themselves alive as long as possible to repopulate the oceans with their species. the Gray Eyes seemed to be the solution to that, as they essentially made it so Atlanteans would use as little of their energy as possible, as it made it completely impossible for them to use magic or make strong expression or movement of any kind. Unlike the Blue Eyed Atlanteans, the Gray Eyed Atlanteans were essentially immortal, although that didn't exactly feel like a good thing, as it was hard to tell them apart from zombies. They might be living, but they certainly aren't truly alive. Uncle also believed that if two Gray Eyed were to have a kid, they'd already be one of them. So Gura genuinely might be the last Blue Eyed one out there...

Finally, the number 1500 and the festival were what scared me the most. It seems like the festival happens whenever an Atlantean reaches the age of 1500 years old, which was a quick shock as I've definitely never heard of anyone ever living that long. And it seemed to still be the age of a child, or at least an adolescent Atlantean, which was even more shocking. I had never really thought of asking her age until now, and it was quite odd that she didn't seem to age together with me, that was probably why. She still was, just far more slowly. Once I got back on track, I understood why the festival scared me. That festival is where the last few Blue Eyed are converted into Grey Eyed Atlanteans, so they can live a long, boring, horrible life as one.

Every single piece clicked into place at that exact moment. But as the mystery that was in place for this long was solved in my head, there was nothing to be happy about. I now understood why there was nothing wrong with me talking with Gura all this time, she would become just another one of the mindless zombies roaming the city and would forget everything that ever happened. Her future had refused to change. I also understood why she had to hunt herself, because she was the only one that actually had the needs of a living being at this point. I also knew now the reasoning behind that drawing she gave me... It wasn't that she wanted me to be there, it was a plea for help. She knew she was next. She's next. She wanted me to get her out. But... I can't. I can't change this fate. I can't change the past just like that. I can't run such a gigantic risk for her. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't I can't I can't I can't-

I darted back into her house. Nothing was different, but when she saw me this flustered, she looked at me with a concerned fear. "She's hiding something." She always was. She didn't want me to know any more because she was afraid I'd be hurt again. But I wanted to know. I had to ask it. I had to ask because I knew I had to do something even if I couldn't. I-

\- Gura... How old are you?

Her eyes were now wide open. She was no longer just concerned, but completely terrified. I could almost feel her heart beating across the room, containing the screams she's likely been holding inside this entire time. She then closed her eyes and immediately started looking down, to avoid seeing my reaction. I truly messed up this time, right? I should have never asked these questions, I should have never begun to try and fit the pieces together, I should have just accepted-

\- ...1 ...4 ...9 ...6.


	4. Time is but a Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding out about the fate awaiting Gura, Amelia wants to do something about it. However, changing the past in such a significant way without causing disastrous consequences looks to be impossible, and her insistence on trying might strain her relations, only making this even more difficult.  
> Can she find it in herself to search for answers when all the odds are stacked against her?

My heart sank. Knowing how close this horrendous fate was could only drive one to the brink of insanity, and yet there she was, trying to not just distract her mind from it, but also trying to make me happy as well. It made no sense. It made absolutely no sense. My brain felt like it was about to shut down. I had so many angry thoughts flowing through my head, and none of them would make a single sound. I was rarely a person to avoid speaking her mind, so I couldn't understand the thought process in my mind that made me stay quiet in such a moment. I just looked down, and held in the tears I had. When I finally looked back up, I realized that Gura was standing up, looking straight at me, and crying her eyes out. That sight proceeded to break my emotional balance even more, and I looked down again. I started to whisper through my teeth, "sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry" while still trying to hold my heart still against all the odds. I had already made too many mistakes that day.

\- I... just... want... you... happy

No.. no... NO... this does not make sense...

\- W-why...? You're just going to-

\- We... all... do, right?

This acceptance... why does it hurt so much, why does it hurt so much I-

The world warped around me. Uncle must have caught up to me and started sending me back to the present. It seems he chased after me, but his slowly aging legs weren't fast enough to prevent me from making the biggest mistake of my life. But it could have been even worse. If I answered Gura's question, brewing within her the idea of defying fate, and she found a way to escape the Gray Eyes Ritual, the ripple effects might have been sweeping and unimaginable. I can't save her. I never could. Not anymore, at least. And there was nothing to understand.

For the first time in several years, I didn't make the full trip back and lost consciousness halfway through. I woke up, alone, in my home's bed, and forced myself to try and forget everything that I went through. But it wasn't possible, it just wasn't. It would all circle around my mind every single day. And this time, I wouldn't even be given the chance to go back either. I had already done too much damage. If I returned even once, it might be just enough to change the present. And if a paradox happened, nobody knew what was going to happen.

\- Detectives don't get emotionally attached, little Amelia. You have to let go.

\- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LET GO OF THAT-

\- Lower your voice when talking to me, miss. And yes, yes I do. We have to be strong and deal with many things that we can't stop. Because they all already happened. You think that I don't have any regrets and any people that I wanted to save but couldn't? Of course I do, but I'm not going to bend reality to my will and risk the integrity of the world around me to do so. That's not how it works.

\- Then... then... I'll find a way! I swear I will!

\- That only makes me less interested in letting you time travel again. You'll only make more mistakes, and this time they might have unimaginable consequences. Take this as your lesson, and when you're done thinking about Atlantis, I'll travel you to a more interesting time.

Why was he talking to me like that? He was always kind to me, but he seemed to be completely forcing his views on me, and not letting me think for myself... He's treating Gura like trash... Why... There's always a way, there has to be a way... Right?

At what point do you, instead of reacting to pain, just accept its existence? It's a harrowing thought, and for months, it was just like that. I couldn't do anything about it anymore. I couldn't really think straight. My grades were falling, my life was slowly turning itself upside down, and I had no idea what to do anymore. And that felt normal to me, at the slipping grasp of sanity. The only thing that kept me from completely losing it at that point were the games I played. After enough time of thinking, I just retreated to my comfort zone, and stopped chasing for answers, because there were none. Even if there were, I wouldn't be finding any.

But as all seemed lost, I noticed that Uncle was leaving the country for a holiday. He obviously let the office well-locked and the time-traveling clock protected, but at this point I knew what I had to do. When it was night, I set off.

The office felt ten times further away than it always was. Like as if the street itself was expanding as I walked along. It gave me some time to be alone with my thoughts, which is really the worst thing that I could possibly have at that point. I needed closure, not to dig my claws deeper into my own doubts over this. But slowly this was replaced with confusion, and eventually bewilderment as I never reached my goal. Finally, I reached Uncle's office, but for some reason it was completely open. However, it was nothing like what I remember. It had no ceiling, seeming to go up forever. The door to the Time Traveling room was no longer there. "What kind of prank is this?"

I glanced back to the exit, and realized that it no longer led to the outside. I entered it, and was greeted by a room with a wall filled with clocks, all of them loudly ticking in my head. The nonstop noise was unbearable, but it seemed to be getting slightly fainter with time... or maybe it was just my hearing going out... I then looked at the clocks and some of them were stopping. I sat at the room, waiting until every single one stopped, thinking something would happen, and looked back again, to notice that the door I got in through led somewhere else, again.

The next room had a single clock on the wall, but it actually had an exit, it's just that it was a few meters off the ground. I would try to jump to it, but I knew that I couldn't reach it at all. I looked back immediately, but the door I got in through had vanished entirely. The only way out was through... that. I waited for a while, but nothing happened, so I went to pick up the clock, trying to see if it was hiding something. That was when I realized that the wall and the clock were far further away than they initially seemed. It only looked normal because of an optical illusion. In fact, it wasn't even a clock, it was just a painting. Only the hands were actually physical objects, And I realized what I could do at that point. I took out the hands, which were actually quite loose, making me even more sure this was what I had to do. They were quite heavy and hard to bring across, but I managed to get them to the door, and placed them. The hours hand I used as a footstool, and the minutes hand I used as a hook on the doorway's rim, to get a bit more of a push to get inside.

Yet again, another room with clocks. What is this place's obsession with them? This time there were two of them, and they were not synced up at all. They were hours apart, actually. My first instinct was to try and find some knob to adjust the times of the left clock, which was slow, but that didn't exist. I couldn't manually pry the hands out like last time, unless I broke one of the clocks entirely. I then pick up the right clock, and it had a single button. I press it, and realize that it stops it from moving. I initially thought I'd have to wait until they synced up, but the moment I stopped the clock, I looked back, and an exit to yet another room popped into place. And this seemed to be the Time Travel room, looking from the outside. I guess setting up the slow one to catch up with the fast one was all I had to do, someone else will probably turn it back on when it's time.

Finally, I was where I wanted to be. But for some reason, the room was entirely ravaged, and the clock was exposed, unlike what I saw last time. It didn't matter, I just had to go to the past and do things right... But when I changed the hands of the clock, it completely lost control. It started spinning very quickly counter-clockwise, and I started to see cracks in the very space around it. Then finally, the clock shattered, and everything went black.

...

Everything was still black, but now I could open my eyes. The darkness was all-encompassing. I wasn't touching the ground, but I wasn't falling either. Out of the darkness, a single puzzle piece came into view. And then another. Hundreds. Despite the fact that I only did all of it because I wanted to travel back and change the past somehow, not just because I wanted to solve those puzzles, everything that I did today made me remember how much I loved solving them my entire life, and made me ask, why was that going away? Why did I think of the puzzle rooms as mere inconveniences instead of something I'd be thrilled at? I picked one of the pieces, and flipped it over. I could notice just from that piece it was Gura. I started to pick up more and more pieces, and try to fit them together. And I realized that it was not just her, but an adult version of her. And it had those accursed gray eyes, and a neutral expression that pissed me off. I wanted to tear it to shreds, but I methodically took off the pieces that made the eyes and the mouth and started to search to see if I could find pieces that had blue eyes and a smile. It's what I wanted. Even if it was risky...

I looked for those pieces for as long as I could, but I couldn't find them. As I was about to give up, I looked at the backside of the pieces that are already in place, and saw this:  
"You do love solving hard puzzles, don't you?"  
Only after that, the pieces that remained fell in, and I noticed their back had a different color, as if they were part of an entirely different puzzle. Yet, they could fit in perfectly, and it gave me a look at what my end goal was here. I could see her truly alive, and laughing. I couldn't be happier seeing that, and finally, an actual floor formed beneath my feet. I looked up, and saw what seemed like stars, both closer than they've ever been, and yet still just beyond my grasp. But this time, I knew I could reach them somehow. Not now, but that no longer mattered.

"That's right... This, too, is a puzzle, and puzzles require time, thought and patience... Even if I'm gonna be working with some handicaps, I can still solve it. I have all the time I can think of. I know I can. And I'll do it by my own."

And then I woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the development of what was originally going to be Chapter 4, I decided to split it in two. Now the story should end at Chapter 6.  
> I'll also probably be taking a short break, to do another project.
> 
> See you in Chapter 5!


	5. A Way Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story reaches its climax as past Amelia is now faced with the greatest puzzle of her life in her attempt to save Gura, the puzzle of time itself.  
> Will she manage to solve it all on her own? And if so, what comes next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's good to be back.

My mind was still entirely dedicated to thinking about this situation. But now in an entirely different way, it was an almost defiant and likely unjustified willpower, not too distinct from what you feel when you're about to solve a puzzle the wrong way and decide to keep on it instead of thinking of another possibility. I'd be finding a loophole in the universe itself, and using it to my advantage. I just needed to figure out what that would be and how to carry out that plan when I got there.

Obviously it wasn't that simple, the risks involved were incredible, and I had many, many problems that I would have to solve one at a time. But I had all the time in the world. I could solve the puzzle as an old lady and still succeed, because I could just adjust the clock a little bit more than 10 hours back instead. It would probably be better if I solved this quickly, but slowly scouting possibilities and writing down it all was on my mind.

I get out of bed. I look around the bedroom, huddling under my blanket, trying to find the drawer I put that particular notebook on. I wrote down just about everything that came into my mind about that plan on it. I know it's in there, come on...

\- Yes, here it is!

I open the notebook, trying to remember the thought pattern from those years. The first issue I had to solve was how to get Gura to avoid the festival, and remain blue-eyed. it was the centerpiece of the plan, everything else would be polishing that idea to make it less temporally unsafe and increase the probability of her own success. Or at least, that's what I told myself as my thought process quickly started to side-track.

"Go there and talk with her about it"

I remember when I was trying to sleep one of those days, the idea of free will was circling around my mind. If the future doesn't exist yet and is being written gradually, then time's writing might just depend of the viewpoint of the observer. Every single observer currently is living at the same point in time, so there's no distinction between the flow of time being relative or it being fixed. If you were to travel in time, then you'd be living though a time that already exists, and as such, time will be gradually replaced based on your perspective.

So if the first thing I told her was how to escape from the festival, at that exact point the present would behave as if that was all that changed, and my presence simply vanished after I said that. Actually every single word stated, every single breath taken, it'd all minimally, or maybe meaningfully, alter the present. This makes a simple "go there and talk about it" extremely risky, although it might simply not be how time works. I might have done better to ask Uncle about it, because even if he didn't know the actual answer, he'd at least help me come up with something. Something that works. The issue was that it was just not happening at that point, he'd just not answer it. Actually, it'd likely... have made things even worse.

"Check up on her right now"

In the end, there were two possible ways that time would work, in an environment where time travel exists. Either deterministic, or non-deterministic. If it was all deterministic, if I checked up on her at that point, I'd find out if I succeeded or not. I was fully aware at that point there was a genuine, or rather, a very high chance she was still alive in the present. If all of time is already existent, then the fact that I save her, or not, would already have been written even if I haven't personally experienced doing so. But if the second possibility was the case, she'd not only be a gray-eyes, but I'd also be completely unable to do anything from that point. It'd lock me into witnessing her having become a gray-eyes forever. If I did save her after that, it'd be inconsistent with the information that I saw, and I'd no longer have a reason to return to the past knowing she's safe. It would create a paradox, where I both returned to the past to save her, but also didn't because she was already safe, both at once.

Not checking the color of her eyes after the festival makes it a situation not unlike Schrödinger's cat. Despite the fact that the overwhelming possibility was that she'd be gray-eyed, she was still in a superstate of both being gray-eyed and blue-eyed on my perspective. So, if against all odds, she was blue-eyed, there would be no logical inconsistency. If my mission succeeded, she would indeed be blue-eyed at that exact moment, and I wouldn't be aware of it. So breaking that down would ruin everything. "DO NOT do attempt to visit her, unless you've made absolutely sure she's safe."

"Paradox Theories"

After weeks of bringing different ideas to my mind, none of them being any good, I started to be afraid that there was a very high possibility I'd cause a paradox at some point. Despite the fact that physically going there, before the festival, was quite a risky move under non-deterministic time conditions, no other solution was coming up at my mind. So I started to consider what this outcome would likely cause. In every single possible scenario that I came up with, time itself is altered, erasing the event that caused the paradox, and as such, you wouldn't remember causing it in the first place. Some might give you a very slight chance of eventually obtaining awareness, but it's extremely unlikely. Even in a non-destructive paradox theory, you never learn what you did is wrong. You could generate an endless cycle of repeating the same mistake over and over. "You have to GUARANTEE that there will be no chance of creating a paradox, even in the best case scenario. The chance of recovering from such a mistake is near-zero."

At this point, I was stumped. I hadn't even figured out how to save her from the festival, and yet I was already focusing all my mental strength on how to make that process safe. So I decided that this would remain my main priority and kept on thinking about it. It was a very long time until an idea sprung into my mind, but I had learned to be patient. It would arrive someday, and so it did.

"Time-Traveler Relativity"

If it was indeed true that time was rewritten based on the perspective of the time traveler, then not being the time traveler would mean that time's rewriting would be an instant process. I could stay 50 years in the past and come back to the present a second after I came out, and all of the consequences of those 50 years of events would have already manifested in the present. The only reason I hadn't thought of that before was that I traveled to exactly the same amount of time in the past and then came back that same amount of time afterwards, so the flow of time was identical between the present and the past's perspectives.

"So if I transport an inannimate object to the past, there will be no perspective for time to be rewritten around. Equally, the item will also never leave the past. That will make the change completely instant, and the idea of gradually overwriting the past is no longer a problem. In that case, the solution to the puzzle of time-travel safety has to be doing so through some item. A letter or recording, most likely. I think a letter is the better bet, as Gura does have more thorough tools for reading than for listening, even if she doesn't understand the entire message right away."

That was when I finally had found the true solution to the puzzle, to think outside the box. I couldn't go there myself to give her such specific instructions, as there were too many risks involved, but I could still send her some sort of message. I could still visit her, but I could not tell her anything about the escape plans, she'd have to read those on her own. But now I could see it, and it gave me hope. There was a solution looming in the horizon, and now I just had to figure out exactly what to say. Which words would I have to tell her, in order to have her both save herself, but also not heavily rewrite the timeline? And oh yeah, stay alive. And maybe meet up in the present, I really wanted that.

"The priority of the message is as such, in descending order:"

1\. not leading to massive change above the land, those of which could lead to the Butterfly Effect, having ripple effects that cascade into undoing the circumstances of my birth or my time-travels, causing a paradox.  
2\. saving Gura, and having her remain living a life under a degree of normality until the present.  
3\. getting her to meet up with me again in the present...

At the point of writing that message, I started to question why I was so dead-set on saving her. In the end, I'd never fully erase the risks of doing this, and it was all for someone I genuinely didn't even know if I'd see again. The truth was, at this point, seeing her again in the past at all was a scary idea with the risks involved. She seemed to want me to take her somewhere safe, but I can't really do that, can I? Removing her existence from thousands of years is bound to have some consequence, even if she were to not do much for most of that time. So am I just saving her because I was feeling guilty about not doing so when I was asked?

A difficult decision was deciding whether or not to include my name in the letter at all, or giving her pictures of myself to remember me by. It was something I ultimately decided against, as the main priority was still preventing any potential risks over increasing the chances of me being remembered. Because I was sure she still would, as long if I gave her more subtle leads, metaphorical images, and objects that were meaningful to me instead.

At this point, if I was able to save her, I just wanted another chance to see her and be the best person she could have ever met. I'd not leave her alone again. It was the promise I made myself as I started writing the message, one that I found a draft of in the notebook.

"To Gawr Gura

Read this with care and attention, and follow everything I say. First off, do NOT go to the surface until the time I give you. This is very important, not only for your safety, but for the safety of everyone. I want you to never forget that. Keep this as close to your mind as possible.  
This may be hard to understand right away, but you do not need to go to the festival. There is nothing that prevents you from not participating on the festival, and keeping the blue eyes you have. You do not want to be like your parents, or the others around you, right?"

At that point, I finally had to think of what she had to do to escape. It really was simpler than expected though, because the idea of the festival simply assumes that nobody would ever consider not particiapting in it. It's only fair, after all they've been taught for as far as they can remember that this is the correct way to do it. But Gura's different, not because she has any special abilities or mental prowess, but simply because she was the last one remaining. She has likely had hundreds of years to doubt this plan, and it's clear she's built a fear of the Gray Eyes over time. She also doesn't have any other like her to talk her into doing this. If there's anyone that I'd be able to save from this fate, it's her. And I don't think that the Gray Eyes will even care, because I don't think their bodies will even physically allow them to chase her. She just has to live normally, and pretend nothing has changed despite the fact she reached the age of the festival.

"I repeat, you DO NOT have to go to the festival. It is NOT your job, it is NOT your duty. It is NOT normal to do this and you should NOT do it. Repeat these words to yourself as much as you can, and just live your life as normally as you can. DO NOT go to the festival. The others will make no effort to chase you, and if they do, just leave for a day at most and they will forget you."

...If I had gone further back in time and had never met Gura, I might have actually been able to save the entire city instead of just having a chance of saving a single one of them... right? I gave up on thinking those thoughts as it slowly dawned on me that I'd never be able to communicate with them and understand what they truly were trying to accomplish, so in the end it'd probably not really have made a difference. I only have one chance, no matter what I want to achieve. I can save other perishing worlds and societies, to try and make up for that one mistake. I couldn't blame the 9 year old in me of having found out something she shouldn't have and being somewhere she shouldn't have been. Time Travel truly is a heavy burden, you're the one who decided who gets a second chance and who doesn't, and your own incompetence can destroy, or at least waste the one chance to avoid the destruction of civilizations as long as it isn't logically paradoxical to the life you've experienced. At that point, I could understand why Uncle was protecting me so hard from it, both then and now. but... I wanted to save the one person I had left to. And this time, I truly believed I knew what I was doing.

"Please, stay safe. I want you to live as happily as you possibly can, even if you feel alone. I may not see you again for a long time, but my soul will always be there with you, in the form of all of the gifts I have given you and even more I am planning to give. I hope these make you feel even slightly less lonely in the future ahead of you."

Finally, I only had the end to write, but I could see my hand started shaking around that part. My mind could barely even comprehend the amount of time that I was attempting to write down, especially all of those years being lived essentially alone, with nobody left to talk to. Were there other lost societies underwater she could live in? It's doubtful, otherwise the Atlanteans would have not resorted to basically turning themselves into zombies to keep their species alive knowing that other cities of their kind exist. She truly was the last one. It was horrible to even decide whether or not to even consider whether or not I should ever ask her to come back. But... the clocks would sync up eventually.

"Finally, if you do want to, come back to the same beach we always met, exactly 8330 years from now. I will be waiting there. Only after this point, you will be able to go to the surface again. You cannot leave the water before then. The rest of the world should be at least a bit kinder to you, even if far from perfect."

...

"Never forget me,  
Your Sunshine"

It had been 3 years since my last travel. Three long years, that I spent on-and-off, concocting this entire plan. I expected the Watson Office to be fully secured and fortified, and I was ready for it, especially because something odd had happened a few days before then.

"Uncle Watson came to my home to visit me. Or rather, he was already home when I had arrived. I... had some resentment in my mind, but he was actually kind to me. He didn't mention Gura at all, but he asked me whether or not I was planning on getting back on time traveling soon, which flustered me. I was really bad at hiding it. He probably knows."

But instead, I came to it completely empty and open, just like in my dream. No puzzle rooms this time, just a linear path to the goal. As I arrived at the past to meet with her for the first time in what felt like so long, and yet was so little compared to what I was about to ask of her, I actually didn't know what to say. One part of me wanted to just wordlessly give her the message, some gifts and leave, but the other wanted to tell her everything, about being a time-traveler, about all I endured to come back here with any sort of belief, and what I was about to do. But looking at the sunset on the beach gave me an idea.

\- Can we just... stay here for a while? - I said, softly giggling.  
\- O... ok! - Gura responded, in the best way she could.

So I didn't even go to Atlantis that time, We just sat down close to one another, to watch the stars show up at the sky as night falls. They truly were as beautiful as they were numerous. I had never seen a night sky anywhere near as pretty. We didn't say a single word during this entire time. The silence, while we looked up together was one of the most soothing experiences I've ever had.

I was exhausted, so I eventually dozed off on the spot. I didn't even know it was possible to fall asleep sitting down like that, but it still happened. I woke up in a few minutes, after I started feeling warm for some reason... I noticed that Gura was laying on me. My mind was both flustered with the idea of this level of human contact but also horrified, as I somehow managed to fall asleep in what was, to me, the most important day of my life. She could have easily just left me behind and I wouldn't have even been able to give her the message I was supposed to deliver.

I gave her a light headpat and caressed her hair so she could notice I was awake.

\- Heh, you thought you could get away with that?

Finally, I had handed her over the message, and I was sure this would do it. It felt like all my life had been building up to this exact moment. It almost felt like my own body was feeling the changing of time that my actions were causing. But yet, nothing happened to me. At that moment, I let out a huge sigh of relief, pronouncing my success. I had finished the puzzle. I gave her my goodbyes and a few gifts like some music to listen to, and finally left, but I adjusted the clock ever-so-slightly so I'd return only a single minute after I left, both to hide my trails and so I could make it to the shore on time.

And so I did. As the stars, far less plentiful than in the night sky of the past, started to show up on the nearly deserted shores, I saw a figure... threatlessly float from the horizon. Her hair had gone mostly white, but she still looked alright and had barely grown up, despite it having been so many human lifetimes since I last saw her, and yet just a few hours. She just... still had yet to learn how to properly swim, and it showed. As she finally reached shallow water, she firmed her feet on the ground and started walking, with a distant, but noticeably colorful stare. Looking at it almost made me tear up, and at that point she noticed me, and she turned to me.

As she walked towards me, my heart started to beat faster and faster. I didn't know what to do, meeting her again felt like a distant dream at best and yet here she was and she said-

...

...

\- Who... are you?


	6. New Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in the worst of scenarios, there can still be light.  
> Thoughts of futures beam from the frail starlight into the beach, weakened by the nearby city.  
> What is next for Amelia? And for Gura?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Chapter split in two due to going on for too long.)

There was no hug, or even a bit of solace awaiting me. Just the truth that I didn't want to face. She didn't know who I was anymore. Everything I left behind was just memories that meant a lot to me, not anything that might help her remember me, or my voice... The english practice recording was made back when I was just 10, it was a far cry from what I sounded like now. So even if I spoke it wouldn't change a thing. She'd just pass by me, not aware that I was the one she was looking for. She wouldn't find her. She, too, was aware she wouldn't find who she was looking for, because she... didn't know. So she didn't even try, she just went right by and into the city.

As she started to fade from view, I finally turned my back to her figure and sat down, looking at the shore, then to the starlight above me. I wanted to go back. But... in the end, I saved her, didn't I? Wasn't that the goal to begin with...? Why was I being so selfish that I wanted to further risk causing a tragedy that I wouldn't even be able to control just for her to be with me? No... That wasn't it... That couldn't have been it...

I look around myself, and see that the beach is completely empty. In that moment, my built up emotions all just started to gush out instantly, and I began to cry and slam my fist on the sand. The only noises that could leave my mouth were disgruntled squeaks. I didn't know how long this went for, but it was liberating to feel like I could let my feelings loose without absolutely anyone to hear them. I needed that.

I stayed, sitting on the sand for about another hour, just thinking about what I've done, and about the future. That was when I heard my name from behind me, in a way that both surprised me and also didn't. Of course he knew all about it.

\- Uncle?

\- No need to justify yourself, I already know everything.

\- But-

\- I said you do not need to do this with me.

\- Are... are you mad?

\- Yes, a bit. But not just with you, this time. I am displeased with myself for letting this entire situation reach this point. I felt like I turned into your enemy, when that was far from what I truly intended. Once I realized the future that was awaiting your Atlantean friend, instead of just asking you to let it all go right away before you scarred yourself, I let you stay, and I let you go back many times, get more attached, and find out the truth yourself, despite the fact you were not ready to take it at all. I could have just taken you to many other points in time and only talk with you about this topic once the business was already in your care. And at that point, I could do nothing but stop you.

\- But I did save her, didn't I?

\- No, actually. You did not.

\- Huh?

\- She doesn't know how our society works. She has no concept of money, might have trouble communicating, lived off hunting as far as I remember... The moment she starts to comprehend just how different this world is from hers, she'd either follow to starve to death, or run back to her own ruined former home. You didn't think about that because you were too distraught over what she told you, right? You were planning to take care of her yourself, I assume? That would explain it.

\- I... No, I didn't even stop to think about any of that... Ugh, I'm a fa-

\- But what you DID do was incredible. You learned high-level theories and even elaborated a potential loophole with time that nobody had ever found to my knowledge, and you're barely getting into your adult years! Your knowledge of time travel already matches, if not exceeds mine. What you do have to learn is to control your own emotions better.

\- Wait, you read my notebook?

\- I've been following your plans for longer than you can imagine. Ever since I first noticed the determined look in your eyes, I started doing a bit of looking around in my own terms. That might not sound pleasant in your ears, but it was why I had the ability to give the one you cherished the happy ending she earned after all the pain she has endured.

\- ...What do you mean by happy ending?

\- She will have a place to live just for herself, with a few people already having been hired to take care of her. This project has been initially funded by our very own Watson Enterprises, but we've been receiving help from other companies who have joined in on the cause of protecting human-hybrid species. She's already being taken there as we speak. She will learn how to communicate, use human technology, eat prepared food instead of hunt for it, will be given proper vaccinations, and will live a life under the conditions we generally expect of an average human.

\- Wait, you did wha-

\- You think I've just been sitting around doing nothing for the past three years?

\- Can you please let me speak?

\- Oh, my apologies. It seems I got a tad worked up.

\- I don't understand... I disobeyed your orders, I went back in time for a clearly personal reason, I ran risks that I didn't even know of, I failed to protect her on my own, and I'm selfishly hoping that she does remember me when what I thought I wanted the most for her was for her to live without that... curse... Why do you look like you're PROUD of me despite all that? I don't deserve any of it!

\- Little Amelia... You did all of this by yourself. Try not to look at the negatives and remember every single thing you DID succeed at.

Uncle finally loosened his right hand up, to reveal the golden clock that started it all hiding underneath.

\- I have decided that this is now yours.

\- HUH?

\- I will need to teach you a bit about the types of clients we receive before I'm fully confident in leaving the company behind for you, but you're more fit for the job of time traveling than an aging man like me, so you're now the proud owner of our Clock. Congratulations. 

\- But... what about Gura? Will I be able to visit her?

\- I'm not sure why you want to be hurt again, but once the process is nearly finished we will be open for visits. You should be proud of yourself for that as well, she's quite good at English apparently, at least for someone who should not know a word. That will immensely speed it up, a few years should be more than enough. It will certainly be nothing compared to the millenia of loneliness she has lived already.

And, incredibly, that was that. I was appointed as the inheritor of our company, and was given free reign over the Clock. Over the next few years, I'd be given control over the company, and I'd establish my job as a detective time-traveler. It was quite a difficult job, and one that I had to work at with the utmost care. However, when I finished an operation, what I'd get would be an overly formal, almost forced thankfulness. It was quite demotivating whenever it arrived after I sometimes would have to put in dozens of hours into setting up the lowest risk gameplan for a single time travel, and would sometimes have to do so several times. Admittedly, the job wasn't the most difficult in terms of monthly workload, and it was quite fun to solve those difficult riddles that plagued time itself when I didn't expect anything in return. People were highly aware that this was an unpredictable, difficult and risky last resort for any situation, so, even if they were quite time-consuming when they did happen, I'd rarely get more than one job a month. The prices were quite high, enough for not only me to live decently, but also for me to help the one that needed it the most as well.

But that was far from the only thing I was doing. My free time, which, whenever things were slow, could be quite plentiful, was shared between two passions. The first being the research of mythological semi-human societies, as after this entire story, a distant dream of mine was moving on towards other potentially endangered communities and trying to change their fate in as logically calculated a fashion as possible. Rumors and folk legends had stopped being just stories and turned into worthwhile research subjects, with next to limitless potential. 

The second one was playing games. They were by my side my whole life, when I felt worthless, when I felt like those who I spent my entire life protecting were slipping away, and because of that, I never truly left them behind. In fact, I ended up slowly making a name for myself on the internet as I started to get into game streaming, and I, for the first time in a long time, felt like I was genuinely appreciated just being who I was. I was making genuine friends, not just job partners and clients. Teasing them, joking with them, and letting go of my own fears little by little, it was a great experience through and through.

Finally, I still went back to that past from time to time. Not to help her somehow jog her memories, or whatever. I couldn't change the fact that she didn't remember me. But I still could make the thousands of years she was about to spend at least a bit less painful.

And this could have easily been it. I'd live my life as a time traveling detective, and a streamer of moderate fame. It was perfectly fine as a future, but my research led to an incredibly unlikely discovery, that would change my life forever. Formerly just set up as a japanese Idol company, it slowly turned into a haven of semi-human species, all learning or even already being quite natural with regular social life, and more surprisingly, all immensely talented, and being entirely supported by their audience. It didn't seem real, and yet it was. They were not only interested in salvaging them, but also interested in bringing them to stardom. They started to come up again and again on my research, as more and more beings, stragglers of those rumored lost societies, would end up being part of it and too, reveal their talents to the world.

Time passed quickly, as always. A post recruiting English-speaking members was finally published. Its name? Hololive English. And I was going to attempt to join it.


	7. Lost Melody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you ever hear a song... that... you didn't realize you knew until you hear it?"

I wasn't aware, but my life was about to meet a turning point in a way that I would never even expect. But signing up in the auditions for the new branch of Hololive was initially quite scary, and I was not expecting anything out of it.

It was quite an undertaking to become a member, and I definitely didn't feel like I was particularly talented or worth the slot. I guess I most definitely lived an unique enough life to fit in, at least somewhat. But my opinion didn't change the results, and somehow, I was accepted to be part of this project that I was so enamored by. It would be a massive advancement for me, not just as it'd elevate me to heights that I never dreamed of reaching as a streamer, but it'd introduce me directly in a project that would let me have the most possible information on my passion project. It was the best of both worlds for me.

But it too, gave me something that I would never even imagine before. And no, I'm not just talking about the new friends I'd make from the other slots of the new generation. It gave me a second chance. In the people that entered, one of them was none less than Gura herself. It was incredible, but she was not just making her life well online, but got incredibly popular in a really short amount of time, and because of that, was chosen as another member.

The most surprising part of all of that was that I already knew her online even before this, I just was never aware of it. I never even imagined it, she was just a friend I had online like many others. But then I remembered what I told myself when I was going to meet her in the present for the first time... I wouldn't let her go again. I wouldn't leave her alone. Fuck the idea of being annoying, she NEEDS it. It didn't matter if she didn't know who I truly was, because I did. I'm probably the person that knows the best how much she struggled, and even still that's not saying much at all. I want to help her. In my own way.

_When she first met, uh, when we first met, it was immediate... You know that friendly, "I'm gonna make fun of you"? "Hi, I just met you, we're gonna make fun of eachother" type of feeling? hahahahahaha, that's what it was, that's what it was... So in that regard, she's special._

It was almost as quick as back when we were kids. The dynamic was in right away, and we got closer than we had ever been. She was amazing, and I supported her as much as I could. I remember being called "Gura's number 1 fan", and it wasn't far from the truth. I don't think I need to talk about her meteoric rise to fame either. I was so proud of her, but something unexpected happened. In my first Karaoke stream, I sang one of the songs that I sent her on the last day that I saw her. It was not chosen because of that, as it was just a song that I really enjoyed and people wanted to hear it too. But... I do remember I chose it for a special reason when I picked it for Gura to listen to back then. It was... relevant, I guess.

The day I sang it, she immediately felt... different. She never told why, but I already felt like I knew what it was. We started to schedule collab streams, and I would watch the VODs, and notice what she'd say whenever I wasn't listening. Until finally, she didn't feel like waiting until I was away to talk about how she was really feeling. I didn't know how to respond, because I couldn't really decipher how she was really feeling. Neither could anyone, really. Those feelings were hers and only hers, and I could only joke and meme about it, and maybe try to wring out how she truly was feeling in her own way. It was all I felt comfortable in doing.

_The next song I'm gonna do, um... actually, I- I've heard it before... Do you ever hear a song... that... you didn't realize you knew until you hear it? I was listening... This is, I think... Amelia did this song in her very first karaoke, and then I heard it... And then it smacked me in the face a couple hours later, like it's THAT song, and I had to go back, and listen to it again and again as she sang it, because the way she sang it, her voice is so... It makes my heart do funny things... hahahaha... I'm gonna try not to cry, but it's one of those! It's one of those, I tell ya! It's... The Moon Song._

As I was listening to her sing, there was no mystery left to solve in my mind. All the answers were plain as day. She was starting to remember me. It's distant, but she did. And she was remembering through the songs I left her, what meant most to me. In that moment, I was a million miles away, and she was alone, but still waiting. And waiting. And waiting, until she finally forgot what she was waiting for to begin with. But she remained waiting for that perfect afternoon. A memory so distant there was no form or sound, but just an idea left behind. As her voice started to crack and I saw her break down and stop the song halfway through...

_Ah, Gura is being a crybaby... Gura is being a whiny crybaby... ah, oh no, I couldn't do it..._  
_I'm gonna stop, I can't do this..._  
_Hey, someone's cutting onions..._

Why? Why was I feeling like that... I wanted to cry, but the tears were entirely out of bitterness. I made her suffer, I made her suffer so much, waiting for something that she knew was so far away she'd never remember it. I thought I was making it up to her by being with her now, but I really could never make it up. And yet, for some stupid reason, she seemed to be falling in love with me. The signs were all there. Why would I, the one who left her to never come back, ever deserve that? It doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense at all... Maybe it's because she doesn't remember me that this is happening, and yet for some reason she was singing a song that I gave her back then... There are many things I wish I knew...

My mind drifted through for so long I didn't even realize how many songs she went through before attempting this song again. Her voice was truly beautiful, I couldn't believe why she talked so highly of mine when she sounded like that... then she started to break again, but push through every time to try and finish the song...

_...this is ridiculous! come on, Gura, you're ok... we'll push through..._

I couldn't even think straight. I didn't know how to deal with any of this, it was all feelings far above what I felt comfortable with dealing with. And yet still, I messaged her to ask if she was okay. She said she was. Obviously she wouldn't come out with her feelings that easily. I didn't even know what was in my mind, if it was reciprocity or... pity. It was a horrible feeling that kept me up at night.

Even now, it feels like tears are going to take over my eyes again. Just thinking of her singing that song and breaking down crying, it hurts so much to remember... and I caused it all.

But at that point I also realized that, yes. I couldn't stop thinking about her anymore. These thoughts had taken over my mind, and I wanted to pretend like it was nothing. Yes, it's nothing...

_Dear Gura, we had_  
_the best time ever. Thank you_  
_for playing with me._

How can one stop feelings from leaking? I guess the correct answer is, you can't.

_Wait, does that mean I'm your wife, then? You were writing [this letter] to your wife!_

There was little I could do at that point, so I didn't even try. We started to be ever-so-slightly more open over our feelings off-stream, and even then, she would sing other songs that reminded her of me, which would only deepen my guilt. Regardless of what this feeling was, I would never be able to drive that guilt off, so I just kept driving it off. I tried to hide this story within the deepest recesses of my mind, and just be, as I always wanted, the best person to her. A shiny place in the dark.

_Amelia, she's... she's like sunshine_

Of course... I remember that. The codename, "your sunshine"... I was blushing even back when I wrote this the first time... of course she'd remember that...

Finally, on my birthday stream, she was one of the few who showed up, and... overcome with emotion, I ended up telling her, very quietly, "I love you", onstream. She giggled, and answered with "Suki". Of course she did. It was obvious at this point. There was nothing to hide anymore, and I was happy with it. We kind of started dating at that point? I still remember that late birthday gift she sent me, those plastic lemons of hers. It was a weird one initially but it was a gift filled with so much love on the inside I couldn't help but place it somewhere special.

...But nothing to hide? That's far from the case, right?

I realized what I needed to do all this time. It had been over three hours since I had started to try to sleep. This time, I was the one that was feeling lonely and worthless. I needed someone to vent to, even if it made me look pathetic. I have a job, I have friends, I have countless fans, and so many times I keep feeling like I never earned any of it... I'm sorry. I have to do this.

< GUUURAAAAAAAA!  
< u there  
< bozo

asdfgsgssfgsdfgsg >  
yes >  
why u callin me   
this late >

< can u come over  
< like, right now  
< i cant sleep :/

Why was she even awake anyways? She didn't have any streams scheduled at the time, she should have been asleep too.

a >  
sure im comin over >  
hang in there >  
i cant sleep   
either so >  
love ya sunshine <3 >

< love ya too stinky

rude >:c >  
and no u >

< heheheh  
< <3 <3 <3

Was she reminiscing too? I wonder how much she knows about me by now... I still haven't told her enough, far from it. I want to tell her everything, but telling her that I left her alone all this time, what will she even think of me...?

I then sit up, and remember that I'm wearing nothing but my blanket at this point. I really should have thought this thought a bit better. Wearing clothes to sleep is gross, but I don't think that serious discussions can be really prompted when you're naked. Should fix that real quick...

I half-heartedly put on some random pink clothes I found in my closet. they were a bit of a tight fit, but honestly I couldn't care less at that point. I was just waiting for Gura to show up. I didn't want to make myself look presentable, she knew what she was coming for when she accepted it. That idiot... She's perfect.

It took a while but she did really arrive. She was wearing her usual onesie with what looked like a raincoat and a mask. The mask, I understood, but the raincoat weirded me out a bit. She probably wanted to keep her onesie clean so she didn't have to change clothes here. She took both of them off, threw them on the ground, and immediately rushed over to me and gave me a jump hug, and I quickly fell on my bed. She then rolled to the left and look at me.

\- And who do you think I am to call on such short notice, huh? Ghostbusters? - She proceeded to giggle.

\- GOD why are you making such an old reference? Oh, right. - I proceeded to laugh right away, and so does her. It was like all my worries were melting away, just like every time I visited her.

\- So, whatcha want? - Gura's eyes opened wide, her inquisitive nature getting the best out of me.

\- Do you remember, the first day you came to the surface? You call it your birthday at this point, since it was when you were reborn... June 20th? How there was a girl that you saw in the beach right as you left?

\- It was you, right? I think I remember...

\- So you do, right? Do you remember why you came to the surface?

\- I think a letter told me to come back to the beach at that time? I don't know, I left everything I had behind in Atlantis because I can't use magic anymore, so they'd just get soaked if I tried to carry them...

\- Alright, now... ugh, I can't stop now... do you remember who wrote you that letter?

\- It didn't have any name... It just had... Wait a second... It said...

\- Don't forget me, Your Sunshine?

\- IT WAS YOU???

\- heh... heh... heh...

\- OH MY GOD IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE- er sorry, I yelled, it's really late, isn't it?

\- You don't have to worry about that, I'd be yelling too... But... Shouldn't you hate me?

\- Wait, why? You saved my life, didn't you? That letter had instructions for how to avoid becoming one of... them... What else could I want? - I could feel Gura getting goosebumps from saying that sentence alone.

\- But-

\- What about that man that got me a place to live and helped me to learn that social behavior stuff? Was he related?

\- Yes, he was my uncle... He was the previous time traveler before me, we went to the past together many times and he cared for you too, in his own way. After a few years I took over the company, so I also funded your life and comfort for quite a while before you started to sustain yourself, just like he did.

\- So you did all that... and you still feel like I should hate you? Why?

\- Because... because... Gura, I- I LEFT YOU! FOR SO LONG! SO LONG I CAN'T EVEN PHYSICALLY IMAGINE IT! I'VE BEEN WORKING TO TRY AND MAKE IT UP TO YOU BUT COMPARED TO THAT, IT'S NOTHING! WHY DO YOU THINK THAT'S OKAY?

\- Because I believe you knew what you were doing. Time travel is a bit too complicated for my shark brain but I know you must have did what you did for a reason. You wanted to see me, but you couldn't, isn't that right? It definitely wasn't because you hated me, so there must have been a reason... And besides, that just means we've been together twice over, doesn't it?

\- ...shark brain??? Way to kill the mood, bozo. *hic* - I started laughing again.

\- So there was one, right?

\- Yes. It's a bit complicated but it was far too risky to send myself to you again after the last time we met, because at that point I had already witnessed you forgetting me, so I couldn't change that anymore. Everything a time-traveler sees becomes uncha-

\- I'm sorry - she begins to giggle uncontrollably - but I'm already... completely lost... But I knew there was a reason!

\- It's okay.

\- Actually, no, I'm the one who should be sorry for forgetting you after all that you did. You're amazing...

...

Gura looks deep in my eyes again.

\- So you were the one who gave me all those songs to listen to, right? Including that one that makes me cry every time I listen to it?

\- Gura...

She picks up her phone and gave me one of her earbuds.

\- Then... what if we listen to it together? It should be fun~

\- But I wanted to be happy around you, Gura. This is the opposite of what-

\- You've got a lot of thoughts going around your head, right? Then getting out a good cry should help anyways. You bottle up too much, Ame~

I've listened to this song many times. She has definitely listened to it many more times than me. And yet, we both began crying in almost no time at all. But this time, my tears are not out of the bitterness of feeling like I had failed her, but rather, the tears of someone who had so many emotions to let go and finally felt safe to do so, even by though I wasn't alone. And hers... feel like the tears of someone who had finally found proper resolution in her life, after so long. She had found the one she was waiting for all this time, right besides her. No longer was I just a shadow, following her mind all day.

I looked at her face again, and she was far closer to me than before. It all made sense in my head. Our eyes were locked, and there was nowhere else to go. They closed, our lips connected. We kissed for a long time, although very gently and carefully to avoid me getting hurt by her sharp teeth. I expected this kiss to feed me with euphoria and make my heart beat nonstop, but there was none of that. Instead, I felt tired and my eyes started to close on their own.

Wait, but that's exactly what I wanted... I wanted to sleep. We both wanted to sleep. And for once, we were both at peace. Instead of having to drive away the negative thoughts, here we were, as close together as possible, with nothing left but our hearts beating. This would be the most peaceful, and longest sleep I'd have in quite a while. Nothing like the 4 hour long sleeps that I'd usually have.

For once, we were okay, and we were no longer a million miles away.

"Hey teamates!

Sorry but I felt a bit under the weather yesterday night, and ended up sleeping at a really bad time and for a long time as well... I feel just a bit better now, but I'm still cancelling my streams for the day, so I can get myself back together and be as sharp as I can for you all!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it here, THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU!!!!  
> This has been an amazing project to work on, and I'm not just glad it's finally finished, but also incredibly happy with the support i've gotten, both from the comments, the twitter traffic or even just everyone who read it in general, you all are fantastic!  
> This was still my first fic, so I do hope that I can improve in the future! Thank you so much for sticking around and see you on my next project! Don't forget to rep the girls too, they're incredibly fun to watch and play with <3 <3 <3
> 
> "wait so it was a hurt/comfort fic all along?"  
> "always has been."


End file.
